Blog - It's All Spider-Man's Fault

It's All Spider-Man's Fault

by Caley Tibbittz Collopy

Why aren't you reading this? Or this? Or especially THIS?

Well, it's not really your fault. It's Spider-Man's.

Batman's too, he's such a spotlight-hogging prima donna. And then Buffy's all "I need a terrible audience-sucking comic too!"


Now don't get me wrong -- I love a lot of the big trademarked characters. I like following their adventures here and there. But then again, it's often disappointing, with the demand for stories leading to a lot of barely passable make-work and fanfic-ish stories. I'm not judging any creators here; under the deadlines they face, I'd be hard pressed to come up with engaging originality and true verve, let alone pipes and pipes of the stuff.

Speaking of engaging originality and true verve, it's out here in Webcomicland, which is like Radioland, but without the dials. Anyway, there are a LOT of great stories and characters waiting to be discovered, via Google search or via this stupid blog -- the latter being better because I can pimp my webcomic as much as humanly possible (sometimes I do it twice or even THRICE* in a single post!), which is good for you if you like violence, nudity, sex jokes, and faeries as superheroes (who wouldn't, amirite?).

And the best thing about webcomics?



 photo seinfeld.jpg



Free comics. Hundreds and thousands of cool stories to choose from, full of the characters you don't even know you love yet. So I ask you: does it need to be Spider-Man? Like, all the time? Does every bloody story need a Witchblade or a Superman or a Willow or always something you've already heard of to be worth reading?

We live in a digital age, yet popular, heavily trafficked webcomics remain the exception, not the rule. The simplest and therefore scientifically likeliest explanation is that there's a vanity press vibe (which would be a cool name for a vibrator with a mirror on it) to webcomics: thanks to our lovely host here, ComicFury, which I adore and rules all and other much crappier free hosts, anyone and their relatively talented monkey butler can make and post a webcomic. How can anyone sift through 10,000 webcomics, or even a hundred, just to find a couple good ones?


Well, I can. I get very bored at work. And then you can, 'cause I'm doing the heavy sifting (har) for you.


And really, are you satisfied with the endless rehashes and "events" the big two use to flog the mortally syphilitic horses of their creaky aging trademarks? AVX? Really? Interest v. yawning, I declare ('cause I declare things). It's not a story that needed to be told for any reason other than they have to tell SOMETHING to fill all those pages.

And again, I love a lot of these characters -- mostly just when Warren Ellis writes them, and I think he hates at least half of them. I prefer the stuff he cares about -- Ignition City, Planetary, Doktor Sleepless...

That kind of love is for the material is everywhere in Webcomicland. Why not take a Spider-Break and read some stories about characters the authors don't just love because they once wore (or are still wearing) the officially-licensed Underoos? Characters who are a true part of them? Characters that inspire them so much that they toil like pros on comics YOU GET TO READ FOR FREE?


Webcomics aren't all just shitty fanservice masturbation; some of us are trying hard to create truly professional quality comics... and more of us are succeeding than webcomics as a whole are given credit for. And we're doing it for us, sure, it's what we love... but we're doing it for you, too. Our audience. 'Cause we wuv you.

And like Enzyte's Bob, we just want it to be bigger and satisfy our wife. Is that too much to ask? The answer is no, no it's not. So goddamn read some fucking free comics and like it already, you lameass corporate whore dicks.


...sorry, I'm just all tired and cranky from working around my day job to give you over 4 issues of my comic for free. But go ahead: read more pointlessly rehashed Spider-Twat while I cry in the corner. Or, y'know... don't. Even once in while, indulge in sparks of creativity younger than your damn parents.


Boy do I like swearing.

Cheese sampler from way back,
-Caley Tibbittz

. S. Please visit my Patreon page and become a supporter of Eternal Knights today -- there are so many great rewards, and you get to read new pages a WHOLE WEEK EARLY! Help me quit my day job and bring you new pages more often!

*Just for Conan O'Brien.


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